Expectations…

A friend of mine fractured his leg in a very nasty way. He was on his bike,on a one-way, when out of nowhere a rickshaw came in the opposite direction. He his head on on the rickshaw and his leg came under the bike as it skid…

I went to meet him (after many days though.) After telling me his story, in a much recited way by now, he asked, “arre howz Anupam?”

Surprised i said “Anupam is fine. why?”

“No. nothing. Its just that everybody has either come to meet me or called. But he just hasnt”

Surprisingly when I asked him, “Aren’t you angry about that rickshaw wala… ” because of whom your foot is in plaster and you have to to sit at home for 2 months, he replied…

“Just a stupid fellow…what to do..”

I was surprised. This guy was more angry at a friend who didn’t come to see him, than on the person, because of whom, he was in this state…..

EXPECTATIONS…

Which amongst the following according to you hurts most?

A physical injury

Nasty words

Failed expectations

For me….its failed expectations…

Physical injury hurts only as long as it actually hurts….

Nasty words hurt a little more..because their memory lingers, reminding you in every further interaction.. But somehow I feel we all understand that most of the words are spoken at the spur of the moment and are usually said, because we know they are going to hurt.

Failed Expectations on the other hand end up as  bottled up feelings…They work on the principle of a pressure cooker…. when the pressure becomes too much…it explodes….

Sometimes we girls explode….for something that may seem miniscule at that moment..you may even wonder, why all the fuss???? Well, this is not just about today…It is about the so many days of bottled up feelings/frustrations that we covered up on so many occasions before… But today, this incident, although very small, proved to be the trigger…

Another friend’s Facebook status goes….

Never expect. Because expectations hurt. When you stop expecting every moment is a surprise, and surprise brings happiness.

Feels really nice to read na? But if you stop relating it to your feelings..its just BULLSHIT!.

Read it from the end.

one. Surprise brings happiness.. not always..

two. when you stop expecting, every moment is a surprise. How come?

three. Never Expect. Is that even possible??

This is the most popularly given advice and the most sought after dialogue… I”m just going to stop expecting anything from you” I know because I have said it atleast a dozen times..

I’ve even  tried not expecting.                                                                                                   

I said “Ok.we have fought. I dont expect you to even call me today…”

This statement itself says in bold and underlined..…”call me today” 😉

I know they hurt a lot and yet I will continue to expect…

Abha Deshkar

8/3/2011