why mothers worry… fathers shake hands…..and we seem indifferent…

by Abha Deshkar

We are at the airport. I have come to leave my parents, who are going back, after a month long holiday in India..

The problem with we humans is that we get used to the good things in life very fast…and then its difficult to let them go…and when we have to..we all deal with it in our own way…


“the plane is at 3:45” …my mother…


“so we will reach at 5:15…”


“By the time we reach home it will be 6..”


“Ill call you once we reach home”


“Eat fruits…and drink milk…and eat on time…dont eat junk food and sleep well”

“ho aai..”

“Buy the castor oil I told you to..and dont cut your hair… Kes kaaplyane wadhat nahi abha” 😉

“ho aai..”

Ho ho mhanu nakos fakta…kar kahi tarii”

“ho aai”

“kalji ghe swatachi…take charge of your life”


this is the way she deals with it..by WORRYING…by expressing her concern…by scolding…..



“do you have sufficient money in the account?”..my dad…


“Ill transfer the money in 2 days…ok?”


“your scooter needs servicing…give it as soon as possible”


“any worry on any other front ?”



and we shake hands….this is the way he deals with it….by SHAKING HANDS…



the only thing I’ve said till now is yes and no…and you may feel what an ungrateful brat!!

But the truth is..its not that I’m indifferent..its just that I’m too overwhelmed to say anything else…because that’s the way I am and that’s the way I deal with it…

By showing that I’m INDIFFERENT..


Both me and my mom know that I’m not going to drink milk…eat fruits or sleep on time…still its her responsibility to tell and mine to say yes.

Both me and my father know that the scooter will not go for servicing till it stops…still its his responsibility to tell and mine to nod.

Because we just cannot express how much we are going to miss each other and when we cannot deal with our emotions we become procedural…we tend to ask the same things again and again, reconfirm the dates and schedules…worry about things, ask questions the answer to which you already know…say those nothings which mean so much….and yet they actually are….nothings….


Sometimes a hug is all that you need…sometimes a hug is all that you should give…

But do we hug??…NOOOOOOOOO

A hug has the power to say those unsaid words…..to say that we care and to say that we love…

But do we hug??…NOOOOOOOOO

A hug is an expression…to which there is no equal..A hug is pure… a hug is sure…

But do we hug??…NOOOOOOOOO

Sometimes a hug is all that you need…sometimes a hug is all that you can give…



In the end its time to go….and my mother plants a kiss which I don’t return…I pretend I’m busy on the phone…I shake hands with my father…and put up a brave face and a fake smile….

its time to say goodbye…and I haven’t yet said..”I LOVE YOU”…….

and the worst part is…I may never say it too…….


Abha Deshkar



AMAR JOSHI October 18, 2010 - 8:26 PM

nice work
and so true
everyone needs to express how they feel
note that expression is important and NOT assertion

holding back simply doesn’t cut it
all it does is mess with your head

Sneha October 19, 2010 - 3:42 AM

Beautiful ma’am. and so true…

nirmal October 19, 2010 - 10:28 AM

nice one!

Deepika Rao October 19, 2010 - 11:14 AM

WOW AD…U just said it as it is… if only expressing yourself completely even to the ones u love were that easy….

Deepti Radhakrishnan October 24, 2010 - 1:03 AM

Very true!!!
Awesome yaar!


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