CTC : Cut the Crap

by Abha Deshkar
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So they came to your college and rattled a lot on how great the Company is. How the “Learning Culture” will help in your development such that you will climb the “Corporate Ladder” very smart and smoothly…

They told you about you job “profile”, and how exciting it is gonna be. They told you how they “empower” young minds like you, to take important “Strategic Decisions” on behalf of the company

And obviously they told you how great the “Package” or CTC (Cost to company) is. How they are the leading pay masters, and even if they are not, how you will in turn get more “in hand”  than your colleagues who are joining other organizations..

And then you get selected!

You buy new clothes and new shoes and reach the office a few minutes early…on the designated day of “joining”After all it your first day in office.

You slog it out in the first month, forget food/ sleep and everything else…

And then- The most eagerly awaited day comes.

you even sing… “Khush hai zamana aaj pehli tarrekh hai” coz you are gonna get your first pay check…

Well, still better you get a message in the Mid- morning from your bank

Rs ZZZZ has been credited in your bank account.

 

WHAT?????

You think its a mistake. But that is surely not my salary. God..these HR people are so careless.

And so you go to this young lady, (they usually keep young ladies for such jobs) with whom you have been interacting in the past few days.

“I think there is a mistake”, you say. “My in-hand salary was supposed to be XXXX but in my bank Rs. XXXX – 5000 has been credited”

She gives you a smile, which by now you have realised is a constant on her face. You did like it till yesterday, but now suddenly its become annoying

“There is no mistake.”

 

“Let me explain it to you.” And this my dear friends is the time you know you are fighting a battle you have already lost.

“See this is your Basic”. (yea rite! like I cant read)

“this is your DA…HRA..”

“And this is your bonus per month which is accumulated and given after completion of 1 yr.”

But doesnt the word BONUS mean something over and above my salary… you wonder..

“And this is the Production Incentive Bonus, which  you will get depending on the production in the earlier month. What is written here is the Max value for your grade, but usually you will get half of it.”  😐

“And now this is you PF(provident fund- employee contribution) which is not given to you directly. (Then how in the world did it land in my in-hand!)”

“And this is the professional tax again deducted and this is the income tax deducted from your salary”

 

So, XXXX- YYYY= a meager ZZZZ

You now need support to stand…”But But..When you came to the  campus you said the in-hand will be XXXX.”

“Company policy” and that my dear friends, is a dirty word which you must get accustomed to and in simpler terms means “Go. Get lost!”

“And anyway, your salary will be revised next year during Appraisals..”  (another dirty word used generally by the bosses and the HR to show who the boss is.)

At the end of the day you take a bus instead of a rickshaw to which you have got used to by now. After all you don’t really earn as much as you thought you did.

And the irony is when your ipod plays… “Paisa…aisa kaisa paisa..saari khushi paisa…saara jaahan chahe yeh paisa…”

Well, money may not be everything…but that is only when you have lots of it.

 

Wondering if after reading this my dad will still continue my pocket money.  🙂

Abha Deshkar.

4/6/2011

8 comments

Pranjal Wagh June 5, 2011 - 10:41 AM

Looks like someone got their First salary….partyyyyyyyyy!!!

and yes i do agree…. “God..these HR people are so careless.” LOLZ!!

Reply
abha deshkar June 5, 2011 - 2:32 PM

The underlying reason for writing this was that friends like you should understand my poor situation and not ask for a party!!

Instead you should treat me 🙂 🙂

Reply
Pranjal Wagh June 5, 2011 - 6:47 PM

Oh yeaH??? ME ?? I have not even got my salary yet and will get it on 25th June!! i am living on scraps in Nashik….If orkut scraps were of any use I would be rich!!

Reply
Divya June 5, 2011 - 7:05 PM

Nice one…nd i agree wid u completely…

Reply
C-Dan June 5, 2011 - 9:23 PM

Yeah sab jan ke bhi tum log wohi kam karte ho.

Reply
abha deshkar June 5, 2011 - 11:35 PM

@Divya : thanks..
@chidanand : its like an addiction to cocaine. You know its bad, and harmful for you, and yet you are attracted towards it. Coz it gives u a high….that is what my profession does to me!!

l

Reply
Manoj June 12, 2011 - 4:57 PM

Did “someone” forget that she is in HR too ?, maybe in few months she would be the one giving the shock to hapless new joinees on their first pay date.

Reply
abha deshkar June 28, 2011 - 9:56 PM

@ Manoj mama.. doing it already!! 🙂
u see what comes around goes around.. 😉

Reply

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