A Rational Mind

Today I forgot to wish a friend on his birthday… Somehow it just slipped off my mind, and then when Facebook reminded me, it was already too late.

This was the same friend, for whom 2 years ago,  I along with my gang, had planned a surprise party, gone in the rains and got a personalized gift and cake and celebrated with all the paraphernalia.

Sadly this is not the first time that this is happening to me. In the past 2 years I have failed to keep in touch, forgotten to even call on birthdays and missed soo many of the group meetings, that I am surprised as to how close I was to soo many of them just 2 years ago!

After Engineering some of us decided to study further, while others chose to work. Busy schedules, different cities and changing telephone operators kept us apart.

“Yeh dosti… hum nahi Chodenge…todenge dum magar…tera saath na chodenge…”.. I remember the day distinctly like it was just yesterday…. we all sitting together.. singing songs proclaiming our friendship until eternity….

Just one year ago, as a new joinee in my Company.. we were sent on a 21 day induction.. In these 21 days I formed great friends, some really good people… but again, all that has remained are some facebook acquaintances.

“So, like whats’ your problem?? You cant expect to keep in touch with 600 friends (my fb count )”, somebody asks me.

Well nothing. Its just that……….

I sweared it would never happen..

I proclaimed it would never happen..

I hoped it would never happen..

I wished it would never happen…..

And yet it did…

Well I guess… pal do pal ka saath hamara.. pal do pal ke yaarane hai … and I better get used to it….

Abha Deshkar

22/4/2012

Dedicated to Rutuja, Navneet, Neha, Anupam, Sujan,  Priyam, Aditi, Sanket, Saurabh, Sayuri, Radhika and those times.

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“Tell me if you want to else just forget it”

“fine.”

“ok fine!”

And thats how it ended.

I should have known better.

“Forget it. She will tell us if she wants too.”  Another friend suggests.

Nothing new. I’m used to this. I’ve always learned it the hard way. Friends crying and then claiming to be OK.

“Tell me what happened?”

“Dont ask” I’m told. “If she needs help she’ll ask for it…”

Mumbai has taught me many things.One of them is the “DONT KNOW DONT CARE” attitude.

· You see a man lying dead on the platform.You look the other way and walk away. “Sorry..but I have a train to catch.”

· You know through somebody that your friend is going through a tough time. “Has she asked you to help?”     “No. But….”    “Then just stay put..”

· There something going at the neighbours. “Just shut the damn door”

You know what, I don’t even blame you guys. Its been ingrained into for too long now to change.

Sorry but the place I was brought up was quite different. If my friend had a problem I knew she would share it with me …and although mostly I wouldn’t be able to solve it, she knew I would do everything I could to pull her out of it. Ditto applied for me. And so I considered it my right to ask my friend if something is wrong.  It was more like a “I-WANNA-KNOW-COZ-I-CARE”  attitude and not  “I- WANNA- KNOW-COZ-IM-GONNA-GOSSIP”  attitude,which is perceived over here. There was a lot less formality and just pure friendship. I didn’t need to ask for help, it just came. Not that it didn’t cause enough problems, but it was always done with good intention. And that is what really counts, doesn’t it?

But the scene in Mumbai, I’ve discovered over the years is quite different. And so I guess friends turn into mere acquaintances so soon..But I’m getting used to it, coz when in Rome, do as the Romans do…..

Nowadays I just “DONT KNOW DONT CARE”

Disappointed…

Abha Deshkar

20/02/2011